Dear J S Bach,

This letter is to inform you that Yamaha has recalled 20,000 pianos due to a problem with the pedal sticking, causing pianists to play faster than they normally would, resulting in a dangerous number of accidentals.

The sticky pedal may also make it more difficult for pianists to come to a complete stop at the end of a piece, posing a health hazard for audiences.

Although there have been a number of unintended accidentals, we are not aware of any deafs. Analysts are debating whether this will put a damper on their bass market and if they will be able to sustain sales.

Congress is considering questioning the President of Yamaha in an effort to learn when the company may have become aware of this treble.

Here’s an update on that Yamaha piano recall: Congressional inquiries brought a sharp response from president Mitsuru Umemura of Yamaha, who quickly played down the scale of the problem before taking the fifth. “Only a few modal years are affected by what is a relative minor problem,” he replied tiercely.

With no progression towards a resolution, sales of Yamaha pianos have gone flat, and market analysts predict an interval of diminished revenue for the company. The president announced that Yamaha would triadvertising more and fine tune their marketing strategies in order to augment sales.”